From Uncertainty to Creativity: My Surface Pattern Design Journey
I’ve never really known where I belong. Growing up, I could fit in almost anywhere, yet somehow, I always felt a little on the outside - even when I wasn’t being excluded. I jumped from job to job, course to course, always chasing the next “thing” that would become my thing, only to move on again.
“I’ve never really known where I belong. Growing up, I could fit in almost anywhere, yet somehow, I always felt a little on the outside”
In 2023, I found myself particularly without direction when I started my postgrad master’s degree in psychology. I loved helping people and was fascinated by why we are the way we are. On top of that, I was learning about myself, gaining clarity on who I really am.
Then came exam time - and COVID hit. Everyone in the house was sick, and I didn’t have the capacity to study. I kept checking what grades I needed to move on to the next stage of becoming a qualified psychologist, but no matter how hard I tried, I felt like I was drowning. Every time I surfaced for air, something would pull me back under
It was at that point I realized I was at a crossroads. I could either cut back on family commitments to chase the grades I needed, or I could accept what I had already achieved with my first degree (seven years + to complete a three-year program) and stay true to my priorities. Family has always come first, and that wasn’t about to change. So, I quit.
I gave myself the rest of the year off. I felt defeated, yet also relieved. I needed time to mourn the future I was letting go of and to process this new direction in life.
After that, a whirlwind of changes swept through my life. Moving, adjusting, reorienting. It felt like I was floating through life, purposeless. But sometimes, when we feel unmoored, it’s the perfect moment for discovery.
“Little did I know, a simple favour during a period of feeling adrift would guide me toward a path that finally felt like mine.”
It took another year before I decided I was “worthy” enough to invest in myself. Maybe *just maybe*, I could make something of the passion that had been staring me in the face since childhood. That’s when I discovered Cass Deller’s surface pattern design course (if you want to check it out, you can find it here) and took the plunge.
Closer to the end of the year, I offered to help my brother’s mother-in-law with a logo for a new business. I whipped out Photoshop, and it took me straight back to when I was 17, fresh out of high school, completing my Diploma of Web Design.
Although I’ve always been creative, this moment truly drew me toward my creativity. It lit a fire in my soul. I’ve never loved the coding side of web design, but I’ve always loved experimenting, creating images, playing with colours and textures, drawing, painting - just letting my imagination run wild.
Little did I know, a simple favor during a period of feeling adrift would guide me toward a path that finally felt like mine. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t quick or easy—but when is anything worth having, quick and easy?
So here I am - nearly a year later. I’ve completed the course, worked intensively on my mindset, and keep pushing forward. There have been roadblocks along the way, moments that in the past would have made me run for the hills, thinking it was a “sign” this path wasn’t for me.
“But I’ve realised it’s not the universe screaming at me - it’s just life. We need to be kinder to ourselves, moving with the ebbs and flows.”
But I’ve realized it’s not the universe screaming at me- it’s just life. We need to be kinder to ourselves, moving with the ebbs and flows. I might not be exactly where I want to be yet, but I’m so much further than I was a year ago. And in 12 months, I’ll be thanking myself for not giving up and for seeing how far I’ve come.
Now, I’m all about creating patterns and sharing stories with the world, through shared experiences and art that is meaningful
But first, it’s my coming-out story… WildKind, my first pattern collection, is on the way. I can’t wait to share it with you!
The Freebies
This quote comes from good old Confucius. This reminds me not to compare myself to others and their progress. We all have our own paths at timelines. Trust your timeline and just keep going.
I recently completed a webinar on high standards with Peta Serras from Professional Babe. This quote came from there. This reminds me to not let me standards slip focusing instead on does what I am doing align with my future self, If you would like to check out this business workshop or any of here other ones, you can find it here. I recommend checking it out!